Tuesday, August 9, 2011

"To Love or not To Love"

Many roam this world with the desire to love and to be loved, to find that person who sweeps you off your feet, gives you butterflies, & makes you blush. It becomes a mission to find that thing called "Love". There are people that experience love more than once, others have the beautiful opportunity to experience it once in their life, but there are those who never have the chance to experience what it feels like to be loved. Why are so many looking for love? Maybe, it's not so much that you need to find love but that you need to learn how to keep Love?

When you finally find your Prince charming/Princess you hear about so much during your childhood, you escape into the world of Love. You know, the world where you can't explain why you feel the way you do, when you get butterflies thinking of the possibility of where this love will go, or those deep sighs you take when you think of that special person, *sigh* love really is special, maybe I just live in a fantasy world, but I like it there. I believe in Love and you can find it if you truly wanted to.

But there is also that dark side of love that unfortunately some have to experience. Within the last couple of years I have dealt with different friends & family members that have gone through so much pain due to choices that they or their partner have made. I listened and wondered how could one find the strength to break through all this pain? There are many that have dealt with betrayal and have dealt with it silently. The trust you have worked so hard to earn has disappeared in a snap. Just like that, you think, "It's over"! You think, "Should I make an attempt to make this work", "Will it be worth it?" It seems like the person that once made you feel like you were the only one in the world, now makes you feel like you don't exist. The cycle changes, love becomes loathe! Between the two so much has been accumulated and slowly a cycle of disrespect occurs. What is it that leads to all this, Is it the spark that was once there and has slowly diminished? Is it boredom, in search of excitement? These are things only the person that caused the pain can answer. I read something in a recent blog that I found sums up a lot (http://kokheechng.blogspot.com/2011/05/letting-go.html)  "Within a soul, what matters is how you feel for them and not how they feel for you." If you have gone through this process of betrayal I ask you to make a decision based on your Love for that person. If they hurt you and you are willing to start fresh and really find it in your heart to forgive & forget, Do it! At some point in your new relationship with this person you will find your "Aha" moment, where you will realize that this person made a terrible mistake & wishes that they could take it back, but can't. Some don't care to make things better, others will fight! They'll fight hard to make it work because they have found their peace, whatever it may be for them but they have found it.  They fight because they know that the Love they feel for this person is still there and is waiting to shine again.

How do you determine if it will ever be the same? It won't! But as they say: "It's a new day" Whose to tomorrow will come?  Face it: You'll never understand why the person did what they did. So you have many choices to choose from: Do you want to wonder all your life if you will ever find true love again? Are you willing to loose a few years in search of love and maybe end up with the same person, all due to love? Whatever you decide to do, nobody will ever understand but they don't need to. If people learned to stay out of others relationships, there would be a lot more happier couples.
As my father's days were coming to an end, he would always say: "If I'm going to die, I want to die Happy" So, I will end with that: Whatever you decide to do, make sure you are happy!

Julia S Gutierrez

Disclosure: If the shoe fits wear it!
This blog is not intended in judging anyone. It's Julia's point of view. Her mission is to be the best she can be & help others achieve that goal. Thank you!


  1. this is remarkable and i love the way you truley express your point of view, but there are those people that you try to make things work out with but their trust issues get in the way then its like you just dont know what to do it sucks badly..

  2. "Their trust issues" If it"s theirs, than there is nothing you can fix all you can do is be yourself. If they confront you on a constant basis, don't let it turn into a fight but more of a humble attitude. I know it's hard but the issue is their insecurities not Yours. I'll say this again, "Only if you love that person & if it makes you happy, make it work" I hope this helps. Thank you for taking your time to read my blog, Greatly appreciate it!

  3. Bueno my love, you took me to another level. You are so right when you write "that If you have gone through this process of betrayal I ask you to make a decision based on your Love for that person". We so often depend on other people to make us happy and keep us there. We are more than our feelings and shouldn't let our fickle emotions control our lives. Love is only what you make it and hard work is required. Plus, we all learned at an early age that what comes easy leaves easy so don't be afraid to put some elbow grease into it. ;)

    PS:fave statement: "Maybe, it's not so much that you need to find love but that you need to learn how to keep Love?" #real talk

  4. Thank you Anayra. I appreciate your support.

  5. I love how you said people need to stay out of others relationship, but that starts with each one of us, by not sharing private relationship problems with others or you open the door for others to enter! My mom always told me, "los problemas de parejas se arreglan en pareja".

  6. I really like what your Mom says: "Problems between partners should be kept between partners" Very valuable!