Thursday, September 22, 2011

"Finding your Happiness"

We live in a world that focus so much on the negative things people do, it's no wonder why so many have lost connection with themselves and their sense of happiness.
After my last article, I asked family, friends, and readers to advise on anything that they wanted to read about. A close friend of mine said "I would like to read about maintaining a sense of happiness ... I'm miserable and can't find it anywhere." The only thing I could reply back was "I can't believe my friend is saying that." I don't know why I couldn't say more, maybe it was me assuming that everything was fine and that she was happy, but I was wrong. This one is for you my Friend, I hope I connect with you and others that have seemed to misplaced their happiness.

What is happiness? According to
Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. There are no specific details as to what "happiness" really is because only YOU can define what brings you joy. "Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely in what you think," Dale Carnegie. We tend to judge things as we see ourselves not as they are, before you beat yourself up about the things you claim you're not getting enough of, stop for a second and realize how BLESSED you are that you are going through what you have been going through. Why? Because, it's a mental phase, it's something you have control over. Yes, I know there are so many things we go through in life but the sooner we accept it and see the positive in any situation you are in, the sooner you will meet with happiness.

I have lived by the 4:8 Principle for a while, I don't mean to get religious but this principle can be used for the "spiritual" as well, it's based on the book of Philippians. I understood this principle more because of Tommy Newberry, who is an exceptional motivational coach He wrote this book (The 4:8 Principle) which explains ways to focus on the positive things YOU have in your life and you will in turn help you find more happiness.  It's a philosophy that teaches you to accept yourself and to change the way you think when you receive obstacles. It's a method of appreciating everything you have to allow you to enjoy every moment of life in true bliss. If you have a chance I recommend to read this book. Now, lets focus on how we can work on getting and keeping happiness in our life.

The obvious thing is to start with yourself. I would suggest to play detective, go back and think of  certain events that have brought you joy. Try to find out where you lost the connection with yourself and where did all this sorrow begin? As human beings we find it so easy to beat ourselves up, just learn to deal with things and let go of them. The longer you hold them in, the more damage you do to yourself and the harder it is for you to find your happiness. If you can't conclude as to where or how your happiness started fading, get creative, feed your mind and let your soul take you back. Find some quiet time, open up an album and take notice on the many different smiles that appear. Maybe even carry a picture that will help you deal with frustrating events. Recapturing certain events in your life is one of the best ways to stay connected with your inner happiness.
How about your accomplishments? Try to think about different success you have had, create a list that you can glimpse when you are faced with challenges, it could be a promotion, having kids, buying a car or a house etc, etc. This is your happiness and only you can determine how happy you want to be. Something else you can do, which I can never get enough of is to TREAT yourself. Go and indulge on some chocolate if it makes you happy, how about pampering yourself, as women our needs not only consist in hanging with our friends or maintaining our household but also making sure we are well groomed, be it your eyebrows, hair, a manicure or pedicure. A major habit to avoid is having "pity-parties." You know those moments when someone ask "How's it going?" and you tell them everything you have gone through in the last 24 hrs. Let's face it, we have our close friends who are willing to listen to those moments, it's not for everybody to know, in reality most people really don't want to hear about more problems because they have their own they need to deal with. Try this sometime, before you go to someone about an obstacle you are going through, look in a mirror and express your issues out loud, this will allow you to see how "enormous" you have made the issue to be. You must also "realize that the things you read, watch, or listen to and especially the people you choose to associate with either will bring you close to joy or nudge you further away." There are so many things you can do to find your happiness, you just need to search and learn to keep it.

This doesn't mean that you can ignore the things you go through. You can deal with any obstacle that comes your way. Some will be harder to deal with than others but you can choose to make it worst if you focus on worrying, or choose to accept it and make it better by being grateful. Thanking your creator is crucial because it will help you concentrate on your current blessings and even your future blessings. Remember you will receive only what deep down you believe you are worthy of having and Smile, because it confuses everyone. And to my friend I hope by the time you finish reading this you have already found your happiness and are smiling.